Do Me!
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: "Do me!" Donkey cried impatiently. "Do me next, Puss!"  7th in Pirate Turner's 2011 13 Days of Halloween fic series for my beloved Jack and our darling babies.  Slash and Mild Het.


Title: "Do Me"  
>Author: Pirate Turner<br>Dedicated To: This is the seventh story in my annual 13 days of Halloween series dededicated with endless love to my wonderful, beloved Jack and our darling children.  
>Rating: PG-13<br>Summary: "Do me!" Donkey cried impatiently. "Do me next, Puss!"  
>Warnings: Slash, Mild Het, Established Pairings<br>Word Count: 2,084  
>Date Written: 4 October, 2011<br>Disclaimer: Puss, Donkey, Shrek, Fiona, and all other recognizable characters mentioned within are ﾩ & TM DreamWorks, not the author. Everything else is ﾩ & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

"Do me! Do me next, Puss!" Donkey exclaimed eagerly, his entire body shaking with delight.

Shrek stopped where he stood, the arches over his eyes rising in dreaded wonder. He had just stepped out of his little shack in the woods in time to hear Donkey's excited cries, and now he was more than half tempted to return to its safety and shut and bolt the door behind him. What kind of trouble had Donkey and Puss brought to his little swamp hole this time?

Puss sounded a little tired as he answered Donkey's request with a request of his own. "Can't it wait just a little while, Donkey?" he asked softly, his Spanish accent thicker than usual. "Just long enough for me to catch my breath, mi amor?"

"No!" Donkey cried impatiently. "No! Come on! Don't do that to me, Puss!" Shrek heard his hooves hit the dirt, and pebbles shot out from around the corner of his shack. Donkey proceeded to jump up and down. "Do me! Do me next! Pleeeeeeeease!" he begged, giving Puss his best teary, puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeeeeeease!" he whined. "Come on! You've done almost everybody else! You've even done Shrek!"

Shrek's mouth shut abruptly at that comment. Puss certainly had not done him! Why, Fiona hadn't even had a chance to do him today, and they were both exhausted from keeping up with their triplet children!

"Pleeeeeeeease!" Donkey cried again. "Come on! Why haven't you done me already?" he demanded. "I'm your mate! You should have done me first!"

The irritation was gone from Puss' voice when he spoke again. Instead, he answered him in a smooth and reassuring voice as he stroked Donkey's face with his orange plume of a tail. "I always," he purred, "save the best for last."

"Then do me!" Donkey cried eagerly, jumping up and down. His ears and short stub of a tail wagged, and his hooves kicked up more mud and pebbles. "Do me!" he begged. "Come on! You're the best! Do me! Pleeeeease do me!"

"Very well," Puss purred. "I shall do you," he agreed, purring seductively, and set to fulfilling Donkey's eager request.

A thousand images, each more disgusting to him than the last, had been flashing through Shrek's mind as he had walked around the corner of his home to face his two best friends. What he now saw caused him to stop in his tracks. His green ears wriggled, then went straight out, and blew smoke. His eyes widened as he watched Donkey's large, gray behind wriggling in the air and saw bits of orange flying out before him. He couldn't actually see Puss himself, but he heard his blade whacking hurriedly away at something. He grimaced; he did not want to know what that something was. "DONKEY!" he bellowed.

Donkey looked over his shoulder at Shrek. "Oh, hi, Shrek!" he greeted, grinning from one of his long ears to the other. "Puss is doing me now! Just wait 'til you see it! He really is the best, you know!" He proudly pranced in a circle, then set back down to face Puss. He leaned forward in his impatience.

At last, Shrek could see Puss himself, and his head cocked to one side as he watched the orange, swashbuckling cat carving a pumpkin. It was not his sword that he had heard slicing and dicing but rather his claws, and they moved now in such a frenzied hurry that Shrek could not even identify his right and left paws apart from each other. Donkey leaned eagerly further forward, almost falling onto his face, as Puss continued carving the pumpkin, not bothering to look up at Shrek, and Shrek waited and watched in uncharacteristic quiet.

He didn't know how long he had stayed there, watching Donkey eagerly leaning forward, his entire body wriggling and hooves digging in the mud with his impatience, and Puss continuing to shred the shell off of the pumpkin when Puss finally stopped. He paused to catch his breath. Donkey and Shrek leaned forward, Donkey so eager he could barely stand the anticipation and Shrek just curious to see what new masterpiece Puss had created, but neither could see anything yet for Puss' small, furry body blocked most of their view of the pumpkin.

Puss licked a paw and then spat out the pumpkin juice that had matted his fur. Donkey leaned so far forward that he almost toppled over again. His head was right beside Puss' when Puss straightened back up after getting rid of the juice. "Can I see it?" Donkey asked.

"No!" Puss cried. "Not yet! I am not finished with this masterpiece! I know you asked for a carving in your likeness, Donkey, my love, but my Muses have struck and They must be answered and Their request fulfilled first!" He went back to carving, his paws flying faster than any one's eyes could follow.

Donkey sighed heavily and sat back on his haunches. "Aw, shucks!" he complained and struck the ground with his hooves. His tail tucked underneath his behind, a habit he'd picked up from his boyfriend. "He said he was doing me next!" He pouted.

"What is he doing?" Shrek asked.

"Ain't it obvious?" Donkey questioned, cocking his long head to one side as he looked up at Shrek. "I thought it was obvious."

Shrek shrugged. "He's cutting a pumpkin," he commented, "but I don't think he's making pumpkin pie."

Donkey looked at Shrek as though he had suddenly gone completely insane and grown a second head.

"What?" Shrek demanded. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"'Cause there's a balloon of crazy where your head used to be," Donkey retorted. "Of course, Puss don't cook! He's a man!"

"Men cook," Shrek muttered, remembering Cookie.

Donkey rolled his eyes. "Not Puss." He pulled himself up to his full height and sat at full alert, grinning proudly. "He's carving pumpkins!"

"Why would he want to carve a pumpkin if he's not doing something with it?"

"But he is!" Donkey exclaimed. He shook his head. "You don't know nothing 'bout Halloween, do you?"

Shrek glared threateningly down at him. "I know how to scare all those blasted trick-or-treaters out of my swamp!" he declared. "I can scare you too!"

"You can try," Donkey shot back, "but I'm used to your moods." He looked over to where Puss had again paused in his creating process. He was once more bathing his paws. Donkey leaned forward and gnashed his teeth right next to his love's furry, pointed ear. Puss jumped up at the unexpected sound, every strand of his lovely, orange fur fluffing out and standing on end. His claws struck the air.

Puss glared at Donkey as he landed back down on the ground. "What?" he demanded in an angry hiss. "Why did you do that?"

Donkey just blinked and grinned down at him. "Are you done yet?"

"No!" Puss cried, covering his pumpkin with his body. "And you can't see it yet!" He resumed bathing.

"Aw, come on!" Donkey cried impatiently, his hooves prancing, his massive behind wriggling, and his tail swishing. "What's taking so long?"

"You shall see," Puss purred, trying to coax Donkey into not pushing him quite so hard and giving him the time he needed to complete his new masterpiece. The idea was brilliant, and although he couldn't wait to see his beloved's face when he presented his pumpkin to him, he knew he had to take the time to make this creation the perfect beauty it was intended to be.

"Aw, come on!" Donkey whined. "I want you to get to me!"

"I shall, mi amor. Just give me a little more time, and I promise you you will be quite pleased with my creation." His tail whisked through the brisk, Autumn air.

"I will be," Donkey agreed, bobbing his head up and down in an eager nod. "I always am. But come on and hurry it up, pleeeease? I want you to do me next like you promised you would!"

"I always keep my promises," Puss purred and, having finished his bath, returned to his carving.

"But you said you wan't doing what I asked fer!" Donkey argued, his ears and tail flapping. "You told me you were doing what your Muses told you to!"

Yet Puss did not answer him. He was lost in his artwork, and Donkey knew he'd not answer him again until either he took another break or Donkey interrupted him. He wouldn't interrupt him again, however, he vowed for he wanted him to get to carving a pumpkin for him and this pumpkin was the last thing standing between him and his carving. His lips poked out, and he stamped his hooves on the dirty ground. Puss still wasn't doing his pumpkin yet even though Puss had promised him he'd be next! he thought. That's all right, though, he told himself. He'd make him wait soon enough.

"So he's carving pumpkins?" Shrek again prompted.

"Yeah," Donkey answered eagerly, his attention returning to him. He grinned proudly and tossed his head back at the other pumpkins behind them. "He's carving all kinds of pumpkins for Halloween! He's done you and Fiona and all the kids! He did Wolf and Gingy and Doris and Pinocchio and Merlin and Captain Hook and even Dragon!" He threw his head back and whined, tears flooding his eyes, "But he hasn't done me yet!" His hooves again struck the ground.

Shrek left him to go look at the pumpkins. He walked around, gazing at the carvings in growing admiration. Each image looked exactly like the being it was intended to portray. Fiona's pumpkin was almost as beautiful as she herself was, and Shrek felt the same familiar catch of his breath gazing down at it as happened to him every time he looked at his beautiful wife. He came to a stop again as he found himself gazing down into his own pumpkin. It was almost like looking in a mirror! His eyebrow arches again rose. "Wow," he breathed in truthful, marveling admiration.

"Pretty cool, ain't it?" Donkey called as Shrek picked his pumpkin up to examine it closer. "He's the best pumpkin carver ever! He's won every contest he ever entered!"

"And I always shall," Puss breathed as he finally sheathed his claws and stood back to admire his most recent masterpiece. His smile filled his handsome, furry face, and his green eyes shimmered with knowing pleasure as he looked back to Donkey. Donkey was still looking at Shrek. "I'm done," Puss called.

Donkey turned back to his love, and his ears shot wide. He jumped up and down, his front hooves clapping together and his hind legs kicking excitedly up into the air. His big, brown eyes grew even larger than normal and shimmered with his happiness. "Wow!" he cried. "WOW! THAT IS THE BEST!" His huge grin was the biggest Puss had seen his love wear since their last special excursion together. "OH, WOW! THAT IS SO COOL!"

"I know," Puss acknowledged proudly. His own grin was every bit as big, in comparison, as Donkey's, and his emerald eyes gleamed with his pride. He unsheathed his claws again and blew on them. His tail swished proudly. "I am," he purred, "after all, the best."

"YOU SURE ARE!" Donkey yelled and tackled him. He knocked him to the ground beneath him and started covering him from head to tail with passionate, thankful kisses and ecstatic licks.

Shrek's arches rose one more time that afternoon as he watched the loving couple. He walked carefully over to them and then smiled in understanding, an entirely different kind of smoke blowing out of his ears, as he saw what Puss had created. Perfect replicas of Donkey and Puss stared back up at him from the pumpkin. They held lovingly to each other, and a heart surrounded them. He nodded slowly. "That is cool," he agreed, but Puss and Donkey were light years away from being able to hear him even though they rolled on the ground just a couple of feet from him.

Shrek tossed his head back and laughed. "Enjoy!" he told his friends. They'd certainly deserved their time together this time, and, with his own children tucked away for their evening naps, Shrek had plans of his own. He walked back to the stack of pumpkins, picked up Fiona's pumpkin, and headed back into his cottage with ideas of fulfilling those naughty but fun plans himself and a great, big smile. This was going to be a great holiday!

**The End**


End file.
